The Fifth Word

Introduction

We are much better parents than we let on. Our children learn what 10 commandments we follow, whether they’re God’s 10 or some other brand. They will either learn to love our 10 commandments or they will despise them (or a mixture of the two).

The Passage

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. Exodus 20:12

Explain the Passage

The command here has two parts: the command and the promise. The command is to honor your father and mother. This command implies you know your father and mother. It also assumes that you will honor your parents until they die. God’s people should honor their parents throughout the various stages of life. Since God is giving this command, this command forbids obeying a parent who commands you to sin against God. The word “honor” in Hebrew literally means weight, heaviness, or glory. To honor our parents is to give weight and glory to them. Notice, this command does not say, “if they deserve it.”

The second part of the command is the promise. The result of honoring your parents is that your days will be long in the land where God gives you. There’s a natural, sociological truism here. Usually, children who listen to their elders live longer than those who don’t. But there’s also a covenantal promise built in here. God promises blessing on those who bless their parents.

Our Father Who Art in Heaven

Throughout scripture, God commands His people to honor their parents. The OT continues to command people to honor mother and father (Prov 23:22). In the NT, Jesus rebukes Pharisees for forsaking parents for “super-spiritual investments” (Mark 7). Let’s also not forget that Jesus obeyed Mary and Joseph (Luke 2:51). And in the epistles, Paul repeats this command and promise to gentile Christians (Eph 4:1-4).

We honor our parents because they have been given the privilege of modeling our heavenly father. As Peter Liethart says, “The dignity of parents lies in their capacity to symbolize the heavenly father.” The command to honor parents can also be spread out to other spheres of life like honoring authorities in the church and in the state (Heb 13:7; 1 Pet 5:5; Rom 13; 1 Peter 2:17).

Father Who?

We live in a shattered culture where many cannot easily obey the 5th commandment because they don’t know who their mother of father is. Around 25% of Americans live with a single parent. Around 75% of black children are born outside of marriage. The fifth word assumes both mom and dad are present. Children were once the natural result of a sexual union. So, even if done out of order, most children were still born and raised under the protection of a mother and father.  Reproductive technologies have broken the natural family. Women can choose whether or not she can have children. Because of this she can choose whether or not she will get married. Technologies like IVF have now added multiple people into a process that always involved two. Children can now be manufactured by a corporation through multiple parties involvement.

A homosexual couple can now purchase a child through these processes. Despite the impossibility that both partners are biologically related to the child, labels like “father” or “mother” are used. The justification for this is adoption. Adoption is a good (and even biblical) solution when death or family breakdown affects a family. A third party, usually the state, places a non-biological child into a family. Adoption has always been understood as a beautiful exception, not a rule. Now, homosexuals are using the exception of adoption as the rule for everyone. Since 2015, marriage law has now made every parent a parent via adoption. The State oversees all family relations.

            Christians can point to these problems as the result of moral decay and liberal indoctrination. If the American family is dying, Christians must realize that our fingerprints are on the murder weapon. We do not honor father and mothers therefore our children do not honor their father and mother. Why do I say this? because we don’t want our kids to grow up wanting to be a mom or a dad. We want them to go to college and get a nice paying career. The command most of us have taught in our homes and in our churches is “Honor your college degree and retirement.” 

Honor God

The main reason Christians should honor our parents is because God said to do it. Peter Leithart, in his book on the 10 commandments, gives five ways we can show honor to our parents as we show honor to God. First, by praising Him. Do you praise your parents or do you criticize and complain about your parents? Do you treat your parents like they’re moronic? Second, by serving Him. Scripture tells us to rise for the elderly (Lev 19:32). Do we think of ways to serve our parents gladly? Third, by listening to Him. Do you go to your parents for wisdom and advice? Or do you go to your friends, social media, or someone else? Fourth, by trusting Him. Do you trust that rules, chores, and discipline are for your good? You honor your parents when you receive things you don’t like or understand with thanks. And finally, by submitting to discipline. God proves His own love for us by disciplining us (Heb 12).

Parents, while your kids are in your house, model something worth honoring. Grow as a Christian and let your kids see you grow. Let them see you repent of sin because everyone in the house knows when you sinned. Let them see you pray when times are good and bad. Let them see you read your Bible. Let them see you course correct when God’s word reveals you need to change. The more like Christ you become, you will notice the more like yourself you become.

Adults, if you have parents still living, seek to honor them this week. Another way Christians can show our holiness to a watching world is by taking care of our parents as they age. Youth, find a time this week to just tell your parents what you appreciate about them. You likely know kids who have it worse off than you. Praise your parents that your life isn’t that bad. Elementary kids,

What if your parents were ungodly and hurt you? First, forgive them. but the only way you can forgive them is if you receive the forgiveness of Christ. Your parents don’t deserve your forgiveness. But neither do you deserve God’s. God forgave you in spite of all your sin. You should forgive your parents despite all of theirs. Nail their sin on the cross. Don’t hold it against them anymore. Second, write them a letter where you absolutely refuse to take a jab at them, be passive aggressive with them, or blame them for anything. Instead, simply write that God says to honor your father and mother. And praise them for something. If, at the very least, God used those two people to create you. Finally, send the letter and ask God to show you who to next honor in your life. You will find, especially after honoring people who don’t deserve it, that you become more honorable.