Shaver Wedding

Introduction

I’ve had the privilege of being Marigordon’s pastor for the last few years before she met Corey. What impresses me about Marigordon is her desire to follow the Bible in whatever it says, and her desire not to follow the world in whatever it’s offering. Sadly, in many so called “Christian” weddings the temperament of the bride and groom are the opposite. They desire the views of TikTok, not the opinions of the Apostle Paul. The wedding sermon by the pastor turns into one last attempt to convince the couple of the beauty of a Christian marriage. But thanks be to God, I don’t have to do that. Instead of convincing you of Christian marriage, let this sermon encourage you to make much of Jesus in your marriage with the example of Christ and the duties from Christ.

The Passage

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

Your Example of Marriage in Christ

Paul argues in Romans 5 that all the world is either under the covenant headship of Adam or the covenant headship of Christ. He says in Romans 5:17 “For if by the transgression of [Adam], death reigned through [him], how much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.” Death reigns through Adam, but grace reigns through Christ. Just as all people are under the headship of Adam or Christ, so also can all marriages be compared to either Adam or Christ. We all have 2 marriages we can model our marriage from. We can model our marriage from the first Adam or from the second Adam. The grand mystery is that all marriages, including Adam and Eve’s, are parables of Christ and the church (vv. 31-32). But sadly, many Christian marriages model Adam and Eve, not Christ and the church.

In Genesis 3, when the serpent tempted Eve, she submitted to the dragon instead of turning to trust her husband (Gen 3:6). Adam neglected his responsibility to protect the garden and Eve. Then when God comes interrogating them, Adam blames Eve for his sin (Gen 3:12). So, Adam’s marriage is characterized by the wife trusting serpents over God’s ordained authority. And It’s characterized by the husband being last to take responsibility, the first to blame, and always making excuses.  

But Christ is different than Adam. He takes responsibility to protect God’s people from the dragon. His first mission in his ministry is to march into the wilderness to declare war against the temptations of the dragon (Matt 4:1-3). He’s the first in the battle. He took that battle all the way to the cross where He paid for the sins of His bride (Col 2:14-15). Where sinful Adam blamed his bride for his sins, the sinless Jesus took responsibility for His bride’s sins. He’s the first to take responsibility for His bride. He’s also the last to give up on loving His bride.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38–39

So, Christ is the head of the church. He’s the first to sacrifice for her and the last to give up on her. But He does all of this joyfully. Hebrews 12:2 says that it was for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross. In Philippians 4:4, Paul can command that the church rejoice in the Lord always because our Lord rejoices. The husband brings home the bacon while the wife makes delicious meals out of the bacon. The church can do all things in joy because Jesus brings home his nail-scarred joy to us. The result of Christ’s glad assumption of sacrifice and responsibility is a pure and holy church (Eph 5:27).

The church responds to the headship of Christ with trust and submission. Jesus gives us His salvation to live in, and we say “thank you, Lord.” Jesus gives us word to obey, and we say “Amen.” Jesus gives us brothers and sisters to love, who also sin against us, and we say, “I love you and forgive you.” Jesus is the new Adam and He gives the church, the new Eve, a mission where we are fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with the good news of the kingdom of heaven. And Christian marriage is a very important part of how that kingdom spreads. So, let’s look at our duties in Christian marriage.

Your Duties in Marriage from Christ

Husbands, Corey, you are called to Christ-like headship. In C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy, King Lune summarizes being a king to his son. He says, “This is what it means to be a king: to be first in every desperate attack and last in every desperate retreat, and when there’s hunger in the land to wear finer clothes and laugh louder over a scantier meal than any man in your land.” Dr. Joe Rigney summarizes this principle of headship as “first in, last out, laughing loudest.” I’m going to change it up a bit and say that Christian headship is first to do what’s hard, last to do what’s easy, and always laughing loudly. When you come home after a long day’s work and your flesh just wants to sit and recharge, be the first to kiss Marigordon and play with the kids, be the last one to talk about your day, and make sure Marigordon has fresh flowers for the table. There will be times when the family gets in a rut of sinful attitudes. You’re grumpy, she’s anxious, and the kids are rebellious. When there’s obvious sin in the home, be the first to confess your sin and the family’s sin to God, be the last one to make an excuse or blame someone else, and make sure your family swims in a sea of forgiveness instead of drowning in a swamp of passive-aggressiveness, and resentment. You cannot save your wife by dying for her on the cross, only Jesus can do that. But Jesus does tell you to imitate that love. You’re called to a love that bleeds with a smile on your face. So, be the first to do what’s hard, last to do what’s easy, and always laughing loudly.

Wives, Marigordon, you are called to the joy of submissive trust. Paul says wives should be subject to their husbands as unto the Lord (v. 22) in everything (v.24). The test for every Christian woman in the modern world is if they see this command as gift or a curse. Remember God gave Adam and Eve one tree of “no” in an entire forest of trees with “yes.” God now gives you a husband, who promises to die for you like Christ dies for the church. The question is, will you receive Corey as a gift or as a curse. The dragon of feminism tempts Christian women to think that your relationship with Jesus and your relationship with Corey are at odds. But remember, Jesus joyfully gives you ONLY good gifts. Jesus cannot give you a bad gift. That means submitting to Corey in Christian marriage is Jesus’ means to grow you closer to Him. I think this brings to light why Paul ends his instructions with wives by saying that they must respect their husbands (v. 33). The word for respect here is actually “fear.” If I’m traveling along a high mountain pass with a cliff on my side, my head is telling my arms to hold on and my feet to be careful. My foot should fear my head, because if my head dies, my foot also dies. As a Christian family, you are on mission in an evil world that hates your Lord. You are sojourning in terrain much more dangerous than a hike up a mountain. Will you submit and trust your head? If you do, don’t be surprised to find a joy you never could have found if you chose to listen to the dragon.

Conclusion

Jesus is both Lord and savior. That means He is lord of marriage and the savior of marriage. As you follow the Lord in your callings as husband and wife, remember to also follow your Savior as husband and wife. Corey, you will fail as Marigordon’s husband. You will lose your temper or make a lazy decision. Remember, Jesus took responsibility on the cross for all your sins. Trust in Him. Submit to Him. Enjoy the gifts of grace. Marigordon, you too will fail Corey. But trust in Christ. He took responsibility for your sins. All of your marriage is a blood-bought gift from your bridegroom. Enjoy it!